Both Sides of the Sky
by oneplusme
Summary: In which Neviril talks to Aaeru about Amuria, and a promise is made.


**Simoun : Both Sides of the Sky**

"Amuria was really strong, wasn't she?"

"Yes. Yes, she was."

Slim fingers tightened their grip on the window sill. "Did you... Did you feel like this when you flew with her?"

Neviril reached out a hand uncertainly, drawn by the play of sunlight across soft, golden hair. "What do you mean, Aaeru?"

The smaller girl whirled to face her, green eyes flashing. "How can you stand it?" She stepped forward, forcing Neviril back towards the bed. "I can't even do my maaju properly! Every time I try to concentrate I keep thinking about you! My hands won't stop shaking! I--" She thrust them forwards, accusingly.

Neviril sat carefully down on the edge of the mattress, favouring her with a quiet, sad smile. At this, Aaeru's small form seemed almost to deflate. She stared wordlessly at her feet, her arms dropping limply to her sides. Neviril turned away, her eyes tracing the featureless expanse of the bedsheets, cold and undisturbed. For a long moment she lost herself in the piercing memory of her own fears, and of breathless nights spent learning to escape them.

"Aaeru," she began, her voice barely more than a whisper. "Do you remember that night aboard the Messis when you--?"

"I'm sorry," the younger girl interrupted her sullenly.

"What?" Neviril looked up at her suddenly, startled.

"I wasn't trying to hurt you. I just..." She stumbled to a halt before trying again. "I was just--"

"Aaeru." Neviril's voice was firm, willing the girl to meet her gaze. She smiled. "I know that, now. Paraietta even tried to tell me so after you had left."

"Paraietta? But I thought she... She was so angry at me."

Neviril's smile faltered. "She had her reasons."

Aaeru looked up, a little of her strength returning to her voice. "Yeah, I guess she did."

The words hung for a moment in the air as Neviril gathered her thoughts. "That was not what I wanted to tell you, though." Green eyes widened in surprise. "That night... I kept seeing her face. I couldn't sleep--"

"I'm sorry--" Aaeru tried to interrupt, but the older girl continued.

"I couldn't sleep, because every time I saw her face, I saw yours as well." She tried to ignore the sharpness of the other girl's gasp. "I was so terribly ashamed. It felt as though I was betraying her. I truly wanted to hate you. And it felt like I was hating _her_" She shuddered, wrapping her arms tightly about her chest.

"And then you found me. You... You _weren't_ her. You kissed me, and I didn't want you to stop. I wasn't supposed to feel like that again. Not without her."

"Neviril, I..."

Looking up, she saw tears beginning to form in those beautiful eyes, a reflection of those in her own. She drew a deep, calming breath and willed herself to be stronger. "Please, don't ever be sorry. Not for me."

The younger girl's expression brightened a little, the beginnings of a smile returning to her lips. Neviril patted the sheets next to where she was sitting, motioning Aaeru to join her. They faced one another, uncertainly.

"Amuria was... She was unlike anyone I had ever known. So wild and sure of herself. She loved to fly, loved the beauty of the sky and the feeling of the wind.

"When we first flew together I was so nervous that I could barely even hold our Simoun in a straight line. Next to her I felt like I was a helpless novice. But when she looked into my eyes... I knew I could fly. And we did, higher than anyone had ever been before.

"She was never afraid. Not even once. As long as we were together, we were invincible."

Gathering her courage, Neviril let her words hang, trembling in the air. She took a long, slow breath, fixing the other girl with her eyes.

"Performing the Emerald Ri Maajon... I know how it feels to be afraid, Aaeru. But I don't ever want to forget it. Do you?"

Her only answer was the most imperceptible shake of the other girl's head, blonde hair shimmering minutely in the sunlight. She felt her fingers tighten nervously, cold pressing through the thin fabric of her skirt as the moment stretched on.

"We'll find her."

Neviril fell back, shocked by the sudden words and by a brilliant smile which left her arms shaking and her heart quivering in her chest. "What?"

"Amuria, I mean. We'll find her, Neviril."

Soft lips formed the syllables of her name, each tiny motion leaving her mind reeling. "But how? Where--" she tried to ask.

"It doesn't matter. We can do anything if we're together."

In spite of herself, she believed every word. "Aaeru... Why?"

"Because you want to know. Because I've thought of something I want to ask her. And I think... I think it'd be fun to fly with her. Just once."

Slowly, unsteadily, Neviril forced herself upright. "Thank you," she whispered. In return she was rewarded with a familiar, cocky grin that seemed to warm every part of her being. She leaned in more closely, drawn helplessly into the warmth of Aaeru's breath against her lips.

The smaller girl stared at her in startled confusion, her cheeks flaming bright red. She turned away sharply, hands clenching and unclenching frustratedly in her lap. Trying her utmost not to laugh, Neviril let herself fall back onto the bed, the tension of the moment receding.

In the long, timid silence that followed, she watched as Aaeru struggled to find a way to express thoughts it seemed she barely understood. The incessant toying of her fingers and the half-whispers of her breath were all that marked the passage of time. Finally, as she stared angrily at the floor, there was a gentle knock at the door.

Neviril composed herself carefully, sighing in quiet frustration. "Yes?" she replied. Turning to the other girl, she smiled encouragingly. "Would you answer that please, Aaeru?"

Startled, she nodded shyly and turned to open the door. She wanted to fly. Wanted it viscerally, with every muscle in her body. Why, she wondered angrily, were there no words for such a simple thing?

FIN


End file.
